Today’s post is a little different from my usual content and I think that’s for the best. I’m hoping to start sharing more content that comes from the heart. If you are currently in a season of loneliness and you just aren’t sure how to get out of it this is for you. I’m sharing the best advice I can give for the person struggling with loneliness.
Dear little sis,
Let me tell you a little story. There are a lot of things I struggle with in my day to day life, but one pressing issue that’s been weighing on my shoulders these last few weeks is loneliness. We are living amidst a crazy time where the enemy is working so hard to keep us isolated from people he knows will bring us closer to God.
I’m not saying Covid isn’t real, or that we should abandon the rules of social distancing. What I am saying is we need to find ways to still connect with the people who surround us.
It’s always been my intention to be real and authentic with my readers. I learned early on in my time at college that keeping my real experiences hidden only hurt people. How often have you looked at a picture of a friend in college or heard people talk about their college experience only to be hit with a wave of sadness because your experience is nothing like that? Comparison is the thief of joy, my friends, but that is a talk for another day.
I’m a sophomore in college and I haven’t found my people. That doesn’t mean I don’t have friends because I have some amazing people in my life and I can see those relationships developing into what I’ll one day call my people, but right now, that’s not where we’re at. Maybe you’re in that same boat?
Throughout my season of loneliness, the Lord taught me a lot about Him and me. I felt called to use this gift, and this platform He’s given me to speak on these things just a little.
1. Your loneliness is just a season
Friends, God isn’t going to leave you here forever. It may be longer than you’d like, but it’s just a season. It’s just like some winter’s start early and end late, but others only last for two months. Our emotional seasons are just like the seasonal changes we experience from month to month. It can be so hard when we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you don’t ever question if summer is going to come, do you?
Knowing and trusting that summer is coming helps us get through the harsh winters. It’s the same way with our season of loneliness. We know God will bring better times and we can rest easy trusting that He will provide. A common, but good verse is Jeremiah 29:11, “I have it all planned out — plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for (MSG).”
It will happen for you friends. Just trust that God is there, He is listening.
2. Don't give up on Him
If you want to get out of this season you’re going to need help. It was during my most recent season of loneliness that I found myself beginning to drift away from God. I had been praying relentlessly for friends and a community and I honestly felt like no one was listening. So, in a season of utter loneliness, I found myself even lonelier.
When I decided to open my bible one day, knowing I should, but not really wanting to, I stumbled across Psalm 31:24. It says, “Be brave. Be strong. Don’t give up. Expect GOD to get here soon (MSG).” There aren’t many times in my life where I’ve really felt God speak to me, but this was one of those times.
In my most desperate times, when I felt like giving up all hope and walking away from a life I knew was so wonderful, God said wait! During our trials it’s so important to be brave and hold onto our faith. God didn’t say he was coming tomorrow or in a week, but soon. Stop running from the season you’re in and rest in the fact that God will get you out soon.
3. Enjoy the season
This is a bit of an odd one. It’s something even I struggle with. How do we enjoy a period of suffering and pain? How do we enjoy being alone? We think of it as a gift because that’s what it is. James 1:2-4 says, “Consider it a sheer gift friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.” In this chapter, James tells us not to try and escape these trials prematurely because resting in them makes us more mature.
Something that has helped me learn to rest in my seasons of loneliness is to just ask God to show me what He’s doing. What is He preparing me for? I think loneliness can be a time for us to prepare our hearts for the kind of people we hope to see in our lives. Become the person you want to attract. Begin the search for the people God has for you. Use this space and this time God has provided for you alone to craft your identity and begin to live into God’s purpose for your life. Loneliness may be a chance to finally start that blog or learn how to edit photos for a photography business. Don’t waste this time simply wishing for it to end, and certainly don’t rush the season by surrounding yourself with a community that isn’t meant for you.
On that note, if you’re reading this you’re probably facing the trials of loneliness right now and I’m so sorry! Know that I’m there with you and I’ve been there many times before. I’ve gotten out of that season only to return, but I can see God making moves in my life and yours. This space of the internet is yours. As a reader you are part of my community and I always invite you into this space to share your story and learn from mine.
My inbox is always open: hello@ashleyardele.com or use the form below!
